Sparking connections – one conversation at a time
Posted by The Cares Family on 29th September 2022
Please note: this post is 26 months old and The Cares Family is no longer operational. This post is shared for information only
In 2010 a conversation between an older and younger neighbour sparked over 500,000 more. When Alex Smith, founder of The Cares Family, struck up a friendship with Fred, it unlocked a sense of belonging for them both, a connection to their community impossible to attain without wandering outside of their familiar social circles. Fred offered Alex deep roots in a city he’d long called home, and in return Alex showed Fred his ever-changing, fast-paced city. Together, they formed a friendship that brought meaning and value to them both.
In 2011 North London Cares was born - a community network of older and younger neighbours coming together to share time, stories and experiences in new and exciting spaces across Camden and Islington. The focus was on mutuality - the idea that each generation gifted the other with deeper connections in the place they called home and it worked. It worked so well that in the next eleven years The Cares Family went on to open four more branches, in South London, Manchester, Liverpool and East London.
From the off we’ve been intentional in who we are: we’re not a service, we’re a community.
From the off we’ve been intentional in who we are: we’re not a service, we’re a community.
We’re flexible in our approach, adapting to each city, centering the strengths of the local community and responding to the wishes of the people who call it home. In the past eleven years we’ve gained invaluable insights from introducing friends like Hazel and Connor and Anne and Trish; hosting social clubs such as Singalongs, photography clubs, trips to local landmarks and partnerships with local groups and businesses. We hit the streets, work with GP surgeries, supermarkets and shared workspaces to invite our neighbours to get involved.
But in those eleven years, we’ve also seen nationwide isolation, greater disconnection and continued division. The battle against the loneliness epidemic goes beyond our five neighbourhoods.
But in those eleven years, we’ve also seen nationwide isolation, greater disconnection and continued division. The battle against the loneliness epidemic goes beyond our five neighbourhoods.
Over the years we’ve been approached by cities and towns keen for us to open a Cares Family branch in their local areas, but we’ve always declined because we know that parachuting into a community and telling them what they need doesn't work. We believe the greatest impact comes when organisations are built and managed by people who really know and understand their communities. Mike, a younger neighbour at North London Cares, proved this theory when he built b:friend, which we helped to get started by sharing our experience and resources. The charity shares similar values to The Cares Family but was designed to meet the needs of the people in Mike's hometown of Doncaster. Thanks to Mike’s deep-rooted understanding of his community, hundreds of neighbours have shared over 13,000 hours of conversation.
So when York Cares and City of York Council approached us, keen to bring their own version of The Cares Family to their city, we were only too happy to help as part of our work spurring a national ripple of connection.
When York Cares and City of York Council approached us, keen to bring their own version of The Cares Family to their city, we were only too happy to help as part of our work spurring a national ripple of connection.
We offered to run workshops centred around the core programmes we’ve spent over a decade developing across our branches - Outreach, Social Clubs, Love Your Neighbour and Fundraising.
We created the content following numerous conversations with members of The Cares Family team and alumni community, who shared a wealth of experience delivering the four very different programmes in five distinct areas of the country. We quizzed team members with eleven years’ experience at The Cares Family, and those who had just joined; and we also spoke to Mike from b:friend to learn the reasons behind the different decisions he made and approaches he developed to better fit his local community.
The sessions were designed to reflect The Cares Family approach - creating informal spaces where people can have fun together and build trust with one another, with the opportunity to offer their experiences and expertise through shared learning.
From the moment we arrived in York, it was clear the group were passionate about community building, with a wealth of experience in creating meaningful connections. In addition to outreach teams from the council and York Cares, members of York CVS, a local charity, universities and a faith group attended, keen to collaborate.
“That this is something that could really make a difference in York. There's a big generational disconnect and that needs to be addressed”
Over the course of four in-person sessions and a workshop over Zoom, we discussed the thought and work which goes into each programme, and how they’ve evolved over time. We shared everything - from the role of our staff teams to the spaces we pick and the community partnerships we value. We chatted safeguarding, matching neighbours, supporting friendships, sustainability, storytelling and the language we use - and the words we deliberately avoid.
“I loved the examples, the stories you shared, your experiences of what worked and what didn't"
At the heart of it all our message was mutuality, and in the spirit of reciprocity, we also learnt a lot from our time in York. Not only did we gain a greater understanding of how our model would work outside of our neighbourhoods - the challenges and the tweaks needed - but it was also a privilege to hear more about work and organisations that already exist in communities like York, work that mirrors our vision for better connected communities but is already adapted to suit the area in which it's run.
“For a practitioner who’s done community development most of her life, I’ve never been part of conversations that go into that level of experience and depth. I felt it was good to be with people who’d been on a similar journey”
The experience, infrastructure, enthusiasm, energy, ideas and support evident in the York coalition, make this an exciting city to watch when it comes to the opportunity of intergenerational connection. York Cares are already planning their first social club (sign up today) and The Cares Family will be following their journey to offer encouragement and assistance along the way.
For The Cares Family, this represents the beginning of something new. We want to share our learning with more places up and down the country, to turn a ripple of connection in local places into a wave all across the country. Over the coming months, we will be working to develop what has started in York and looking for other partners who want to go on the journey with us. Alex’s friendship with Fred sparked 500,000 conversations, now we’re hoping our conversation with York will spark many, many more.
